je pense, donc je suis

 

je pense, donc je suis (I think therefore I am). - René Descartes

There was a professor at the college I attended who was a "cool dude". He was Dr. David. So he also had a cool name.

Dr David had an arm that had been damaged or was deformed. I ran track and cross country in college (or tried to). Dr David was often on the track with his arm in a sling trudging around the track. He bothered no one and no one bothered him. He kept an even pace and just moved around the track to get his exercise.

He was cheerful and kind and was always smiling.

I had him as a professor in an intro to philosophy class. As I recall now 50 years later the class was okay. And I had little interest in going past the intro class.

One day I decided to engage Dr David in conversation. The problem was that although I wanted to talk to him I had nothing to say. Being young and impetuous I approached Dr David anyway. (Impetuous in this case used as an adjective meaning: "acting or done quickly and without thought or care")

The only thing I could think of to say was, I saw in the college catalog that there is a course called "'Symposium for Seniors', what is that"?

He explained it was for Graduating Seniors who were pursing a degree in Philosophy. And that it was not called a "class" because it was not a lecture it was a discussion about advanced readings by classical and otherwise famous philosophers.

Then he said the most astounding thing...

"I will sign you up."

I will sign you up? What the heck is that? I panicked inside. I didn't want to be in a symposium. No one knows what that is anyway. I liked the professor, but not necessarily the class!

How do I get out of this? I had reverence for this person. My father was an asshat and it was hard for me to relate well to older men.

So I said something brilliant like, UGH. Which was apparently interpreted as "okay, sign me up".

The next thing you know I had a huge book. Huge. Enormous. Gigantic. Some of the paragraphs in the book took two or three pages. I was lost. There was no hope. The folks who wrote these Treatises were obviously on drugs. They simply wrote descriptions of their "trip". They were long "word salads" to me. 

As we sat in this "symposium" these graduating seniors looked somber. They would talk about existence of man, and other deep subjects. My idea of deep was pizza crust thin or Chicago style. I said little and knew I was likely doomed.

Apparently God intervened and gave me an idea. I would read the first sentence or so (which could be half a page long) figure out what that one sentence meant. Then I would read the very last sentence of the work, many pages later, and figure out what it meant. Then in this "symposium" I would simply say what I thought the first sentence said. And then later I would say what I thought the last sentence said. The students would look off into the distance as if their drugs had just kicked in again and pondered my astute observation. It made me happy to see their enormous brains mulling over this nugget that I had no idea of what meaning it held if any.

It worked.

I got an "A".

I think therefore I am

I thought therefore I was. 

Go figure.