Psalm 118:24

 

The Brain Transplant (is off)

 

The Brain Transplant

(Note to Reader: The names have been changed in this story to protect the innocent. So when you see “Dr. Liu” you should know that the person’s real name is not “Liu”, instead it is something else.)

I went to see Dr. Liu. She is my new found neurologist. I need a neurologist because a cardiologist called into question the proper functioning of my brain. 

As soon as Dr. Liu came into the little consulting room I told her that my problem is that there are too many brains in my cranium. This of course causes headaches as all those brains are crowded in one place and they complain to one another about the cramped conditions. There is no higher power for them to appeal to, no arbiter of who should occupy what space, or who should get to have the best spot in the cranium; which I guess that would be near the eyes because the view would be better. This commotion, the endless arguing and yelling and general upheaval causes headaches. The French often say at the end of a declaration of fact such as this , “it is clear” (est clair); meaning “of course”, “there can be no doubt”, or “it is self-evident”. 

As I told her this she looked unconcerned. Maybe she is gathering it all in and is brilliant, but just doesn't show it.

So I just kept talking. She needs to know this. I need to tell her up front so as not to waste her valuable time and because "The Price is Right", will be on TV exactly when I get home if I can get out of her sooner rather than latter.

I told her the headaches were not really that bad. The cardiologist caught me on a bad day. “Yes” I did have a headache and “yes” my blood pressure was that of a large elephant after being chased by a pack of wild wolves (or are they chased by leopards or lions… maybe it isn’t wolves?). I guess it doesn’t matter. The point is my blood pressure was very high and I had a headache.

I told her that many of my friends think I have too many brains. That maybe we (we meaning me) should have a brain transplant where I, being still alive, would contribute, some overage of my massive brain mass, to some less fortunate person who is needy and in need. They could benefit from my situation of having too many brains that cause headaches. It would be one of those rare “win / win” situations. Fewer headaches for me, more brains for them. But – just to be clear – at the conclusion of this humanistic endeavor I would still be alive. I of course want to be alive to accept my Nobel Prize for Humanitarianism. And if there is no such prize they will create one “post haste” given my big contribution to Humanitarianism. 

I really don't know if Dr Liu does brain surgery or she does other train related stuff, but it doesn't matter. She needs to know.

Yes of course I would want to pick out the person who would receive my brain, I told her. I do know some people who live “out of State” who sure could use some more brains, but given their ineptness at using the brains they now have, it would be like throwing “pearls before swine” to give them more. Plus since they don’t like me then they wouldn’t likely even mutter “thank you”. So instead the person who would receive the brain transplant / transfer needs to be someone who DOES like me and whom will be able to testify to the Noble Humanitarianism Prize Committee (the NHPC if there is such a thing) that I’m a fantastic humanitarian.

This is all good stuff, but she isn't writing any of it down.

 And I know a lot of people who DO like me who could use some more brains. So really there is no problem finding someone, except they may not want their skull cracked open. Other than that people should be lining up around the block.

“What do you think?”, I asked.

Then I was quiet.

"Sorry, I no understand English good. I understand brain malfunction, only. No do brain surgery."

So if you are reading this and as you read were getting very excited about the prospects of having some of my brain overage put into the vacant parts of your cranium. Sorry. Dr. Liu didn’t understand so the brain transplant is “off”.

©David L Arment

PS, obviously this is fiction. I did however get paired up with a neurologist "fresh off the boat" who did not understand everything said. It was disconcerting to say the least.

St Pauls Church and Bell Tower

This picture was taken on our second trip to Alaska in 2017.

There are two basic routes from the "lower 48" to Alaska. Some of the routes overlap. One route is called "the Alcan" otherwise known as "The Alaskan Highway". The other route is called the Cassair

Most people take the Alcan as we did in 2013. And we intended to take it again in 2017, but we stopped at an RV park on our way to the Northwest and a campground manager talked us into the glorious and wonderful Cassair. It was neither glorious nor wonderful, but it wasn't bad either.

We liked the totem poles and some of the quaint sights that the Cassiar offered.

This church and it's bell tower being one of the sights we are glad we didn't miss.

St Pauls Church and Bell Tower, British Columbia, Canada

Korean Bell of Friendship

Korean Bell of Friendship

Pam and I drove our class B to LA in 2017. We visited with the Ashai family. We parked in their driveway for a couple of nights. Our view was of the Los Angeles Valley, which was spectacular at night.

During the day we had a borrowed car and we drove around and saw the sights.

It was great!

Among the things we stumbled upon was this Korean Bell of Friendship which was in a park that overlooked the Pacific Ocean.

Nine years ago... hard to believe.

Suck a Toad

Toad Suck, Arkansas

There is a place called Toad Suck. It is in Arkansas. 

I’ve been to Arkansas. I like the people there and I never saw anyone sucking on toads. Maybe it is something they do in the privacy of their own homes. What do you think?

Well I looked it up, on that Google thingy. It says the name comes from olden days when boatmen from the Arkansas River who would stop in the tavern and drink. It says boatmen “suck on a bottle ’til they swell up like toads”.

So it was disappointing to find out that no one was sucking on actual toads. 

I heard once that people would lick toads or frogs to get high. So I did the Google thing and it made it sound like it was more likely that you would die from licking a toad that have “a trip”. Death would be a trip, but one most of us want to take… later… much later.

A respectable nearby to the town of Toad Suck: a town called Conway, has “Toad Suck Daze”, Not days… but daze. 

The licking or sucking of toads might put you in a daze. 

So why daze and not days?

Maybe they really are sucking on toads?

I'm Sorry We Cannot Be Friends

 

I'm Sorry We Cannot Be Friends

Facebook said we cannot be friends. 

... Its hard pill to swallow. 

... Hard to get over.

... Difficult to Stomach

... bitter pill

... a difficult reality

... beyond comprehension

That is to say it was very disappointing. Facebook showed me a list of people "That you may know". (You in this case meaning me) and there was a button to click on to ask you to be my friend...

... and I was excited...

... exuberant may be a better word

... ecstatic. Well nearly.

...but then...

... it said that I didn't know you. Obviously it (it being Facbook) originally thought I knew you, but changed it's mind. If it has a mind.

... and I do know you. That's the rub. We should be friends. It would seem our destiny. But alas.

... i just feel like this phrase needs those three dots.

It is so unfair. How can Facebook keep us apart? After all we have not meant to each other?

I felt awful like the time the trash truck ran over my pretend pet, Ralphy. Poor Ralphy. I was sad almost the entire day after that didn't happen. I never told anyone about my pretend pet until now and how he didn't get ran over by a pretend truck full of trash. I am sad just typing this to you.

So I will sulk. Have a good cry. Binge watch "The Hallmark Channel" and eventually life will return to normal. Whatever version of normal I have left.

Thanks for listening... 

...friend.

PS, if you want to be my friend you will have to try it from your side, because Facebook doesn't think I should be your friend.

Honey and Mexicans

Honey and the Mexicans

(a fictional story from times gone by)

The people we (“we” meaning me) live with are not normal. If you saw them at the chicken fights at "The Emporium" on Saturday night you might think they look normal. They kind of fit into that element of larger sweaty people with tattoos and most of their teeth. But if you had to go to church with them on the two occasions that takes us to church: Easter and Christmas, and listen to them in the car lecture one another on the words that one CANNOT use in church (“You cannot use the f-word in church) or the priest or pastor or rabbi or whatever that guy up front is called will get really upset… remember two Easters ago?”)… if you had to listen to this you would realize they are not normal.

And no matter how many times you request that they NOT put the honey in the fridge they do it anyway. They will leave milk on the counter all night; they will push aside the open container of melting ice cream to be sure to get the honey to put in the fridge.

As you know after honey sits in the fridge it WILL NOT come out of the container. It takes hours for it to get warm enough to use again.

 “Hey, who put the honey in the fridge!?!?” you ask the two nearly full grown people sitting in front of the TV. One belongs in your house and the other one visits non-stop so he also belongs in your house.

In unison from the family room where two sit watching TV in the middle of the day, “I dunno”. They grin at each other because they said it at the same time… “Hey dud we said that at the same time!”

One throws a potato chip at the other and it careens off his head and falls to the carpet.

“Hey guys don’t throw food!”

“It is okay the dogs will get it.”

There is a swirl activity on the floor as group of ankle tall dogs growl and fight for the fallen chip. It looks like one of those scene from the old Tarzan movies where the piranha boil the water in a frenzy as they eat some poor animal or person who enters their South American river.

Me: “What are you two doing?”

Them: “Watching Oprah.”

Me: “Watching Oprah? What do you two care about Oprah?”

Them: “There are some nice chicks there sitting in the audience”.

Me: “You are watching Oprah for the shots of the ladies in the audience?”

They completely ignore my question and one says to the other, “Dude, we should like go there. It is in Chicago.”

Them one to the other: “They don’t let guys in”.

Them: “Dude, look there is guy right there.”

I have to interrupt, “Why don’t you go and find jobs?!?!?”

Them: “All the Mexicans have all the jobs.”

Me: “Jose, you are a Mexican.”

Jose gets off the couch and addresses me as though I am a human being. And maybe he is serious, but it is hard to tell...

Jose: “Mr. A, I told you before the term is not Mexican it is Latino. I am a Latino.” He is pointing to himself with two hands for some kind of emphasis.

“Me: But Jose, you said ‘all the Mexican’s have the jobs’. You used the word Mexican.”

Jose: “Mr. A, I am Mexican so I can use whichever word I want, Latino, Mexican, whatever, but you are white, so you have to say Latino or you offend us Latinos. It is like when Black people use the ‘n-word’. They can say that but we can’t say that. It is the same thing.”

Me: “So who put the honey in the refrigerator?”

Best of Landscapes

 Best of Landscapes

https://www.davidarment.photos/Landscapes/Best-of-Landscapes

I am in the process of adding new galleries to the website so that someone doesn't have to look at so many images to "get the idea".

This particular link is for the "best of landscapes".

Paul's Windmill and tree in winter.

Paul owned this farmland. Everyone in the area sees this windmill that is growing in the middle of the tree.

Paul told me that if it were not for the windmill he would have cut down the tree. And if it were not for the tree the windmill would likely have fallen because of it's age.

Symbiotic?

https://www.davidarment.photos/Landscapes/Landscapes-Rural/i-XqPDFS4/A

Amish Buggy at Dawn

 Amish buggy at dawn.

Captured North of Topeka, Indiana. 

Cuyahoga National Park 2

As you may recall the purpose of our trip was to take Pam to the Cleveland Clinic to have her situation evaluated. We stayed over to see Cuyahoga National Park which is very close by.

Today was our second day. Yesterday we had less than half a day.

We visited

- The Happy Days Camp

- Kendal Lake

- Lock 28 in Peninsula, Ohio

- Walked the town of Peninsula, OH

- We walked to Brandywine Falls again but from The Inn at Brandywine Falls (see below)

- The Ledges (a glacial elevated plateau}

- Beaver Marsh

- Everett Covered Bridge

- We ate dinner at "The Winking Lizard in Peninsula

This is Pam coming through the tunnel and about to look at "Happy Day Camp". The Camp was constructed by the CCC many years ago. 

This is a statue at "Happy Days Camp" commemorating the young men who worked for the CCC and constructed the camp. The camp served primarily young people. The name of the camp came from the popular song "Happy Days are Here Again".

The National Park operates a train company that takes tourists on train rides through the valley.

The river at Peninsula, Ohio.

Pam being a butterfly while holding a garden gnome.

Part of the hiking trail at "The Ledges".

Turtles at Beaver Marsh. There were lots of squawking geese. Lots of red winged blackbirds. One muskrat. Many turtles.

The only covered bridge in Spenser county and a part of the National Park exhibits.

Pam at "The Ledges".

A rock that I liked at "The Ledges".

We stayed at "The Inn at Brandywine Falls". This lady was in the back yard.

A bell at "The Inn at Brandywine Falls".

The Inn at Brandywine Falls

Sun dial at the Inn.

As usual. If you want a few days pictures of the trip will appear at www.davidarment.photos.

They will be separated into folders / galleries that are appropriate for the subject.

Email me if you have any questions.

Cleveland Clinic and Cuyahoga National Park

Today was a long day.

We arrived at the Cleveland Clinic yesterday late afternoon. As an aside there are many locations of the Cleveland Clinic. It may seem redundant to say the Cleveland Clinic, in Cleveland, but it is not. And you will see that later in this post.

We stayed last night in the Holiday Inn which is in the Cleveland Clinic complex. Everyone in this hotel is there because they are going to an appointment, or were at an appointment. For whatever reason I didn't sleep, which made today a long day.

We woke up at 5:30 to make it to the appointment with her doctor at 8AM. Not knowing how things worked we gave ourselves plenty of time.

Plenty of time...

We arrived at the appointed place an hour before the time we were supposed to be there. None of the workers had shown up for work yet. They did and Pam went up to the desk. When she returned she said that although we were exactly where we were told to be, the docot she was to see was in a different facility. Apparently they told us the wrong place to be. The right place was a nearby town... but not Cleveland.

So they quickly assigned Pam a different doctor for a 9AM appointment.

I quickly "googled" her new doctor. The picture they had of her would appear to have been her 6th grade school picture. Although she is young she didn't look like her picture. 

Everything went just fine. The doctor had very distinct paths to follow depending upon the x-rays and blood work that Pam had to do today.

We did those tests and got back to the Holiday Inn for our luggage and the truck. I think we got rolling out of the Cleveland Clinc complex about noon.

We then went to the National Park close to Cleveland. Yes, there is a National Park close to Cleveland it is Cuyahoga National Park. Today we went to the visitor's center, saw a wonderful waterfall and ate dinner at Tinker's Creek Tavern. The tavern was really good.

Tonight we are in a B&B and tomorrow we look around the park and we go home Thursday.

Friday we have a "Zoom" meeting with the doctor who will tell Pam what her course of action will be.

Pam's condition is osteoporosis and arthritis. The osteoporosis isn't as bad as I thought it was and the arthritis is worse than I thought it was. 

I think we are happy that we have something to do and we are not just waiting for things to continue to get worse.

Pam about 16 months ago could do pretty much whatever she wanted. Now she walks with a cane and only walks shorter distances. Riding her bicycle is something she still does well.

Below are some pictures of the day.

As usual when time allows (maybe next weekend) I'll have some up on www.davidarment.photos

Thanks for reading this long post

Not a good picture of Pam. She is surely saying "don't take my picture".

This is where we were, but the doctor was not there... so we got a new doc.

No one seemed to be home at the headquarters. Which was fine.

There were people at the visitor's center. Enthusiastic volunteers who wanted to tell you everything you ever wanted to know about the park and more.

About the coupon, and about the site

 

The website www.davidarment.photos is valuable to me because it lets local people in this region, look at and hopefully use the images their in their promotion of the region for tourism and / or to promote their businesses. It works very well for that.

The other use which it does not do nearly as well is to allow people purchasing home decor or other items from the website. In hopes of getting more sales from the website I have...

- worked on pricing (so it makes more sense)

- simplified product selection. Otherwise there are hundreds and hundreds of products.

- started to condense the image into "best of" galleries. So far I've only done "Amish - best"

- offered a coupon

So we will see what happens next.

Thank you.

today's bike ride

I didn't go to church today because I was in pain last night and couldn't sleep. Ice and Tylenol usually works, but not last night. I slept the entire time Pam was at church.

So I was surprised that I was able to get a ride in today. And happy.

Thanks for those of you who missed me today and praying I'd get better.

Evenings, for some reason, begin the onset of the pain.

These pictures are some of the things I saw on the bike ride today on the Pumpkinvine Nature Trail.

Yes, those are buffalo way down in the string of pictures.

the bridge

After sunset today.

Help Again, Best of

I hired a person to help me with my website, which is www.davidarment.photos

First thing we worked on was pricing. That took more than half the hour I'd purchased from him, and that is okay. It was wrong and now it is mostly fixed and I'll work on it some more.

And he said that my collections of images were "eclectic". That is a word full of hidden meaning. It can mean a lot of different things. He went on to say that there were / are too many images and people will get lost among them all. I think he's right.

He suggested a "best of" gallery. So my first attempt is a "best of Amish". The link is below.

https://www.davidarment. Best photos/AmishFolder/Amish-

Here is where you can help.

What do you think should be in the "Best of" folder.

If you have a favorite from among the "Amish" genre, please let me know and I'll put it in this "best of" gallery.

thanks for your help.

Vote on a Picture... I need your help... #2

 Thank you for helping me with the selection of a picture for the contest that I will enter.

Numbers 1 and 2 were close to one another.

Pam cast the deciding vote with number 1. 

I'll keep you posted on how the contest goes.

First step is to enter.

The next step is to get "juried in". This is difficult because you never know the tastes of the people doing the jury duty.

But you don't get anywhere by not trying.

Thanks again.

Pam hates these videos

There are a big series of these. I send the links to Pam. She says that she doesn't like them. She asks not to be sent more links.

...but...

She's laughing while asking.

So what do you think happens? Do I send more because she is obviously entertained or stop because she asked?

eggnogthebulldogg

From Seventeen Years Ago

Found this while working on something else.

I have lots of hard drives.

Lots.

Thousands of images from decades gone by.

 

we had lunch

We had lunch with this fine fellow and a couple of people he bought with him.

He had chicken fingers. I'm pretty sure they weren't actual fingers because actual chicken fingers would be really small.

Oh, and it was his dad's birthday!

Happy birthday Andrew!

Where is this barn?

 February 2011

I need to keep better records. I love this barn but now, 15 years removed from it's capture, I don't remember where it is.

I'm guessing it is Michigan or maybe Wisconsin.

But I don't know.

Do you?

Vote on a Picture... I need your help

Image 1

 I am entering a contest. I am going to enter two pictures. One I've already chosen and the other one I can't decide upon.

The contest is at the ArtBarn in Valparaiso, which I became aware of when a group of us tried to get something similar started here in Northern Indiana. We failed, but the ArtBarn flourishes.

As usual with these things, judges are brought in to "jury" the artwork into the show. Judges are people who "know art". Usually they have art degrees. They look for things that I don't. They see things I don't. And their tastes are unknown. And that last point matters.

The first contest I ever entered I won an award. Was the photograph good? Maybe. More likely it just struck some chord in the judge who liked the color of the old, dented door of a blue truck that had the phone number of a coal company written thereupon. I heard him discuss the color with some other person, neither of them knowing who I was (and still am).

Another time, there was a photograph that took first place in a contest I entered once. It was in a poster framed like you would buy at Walmart. The subject was two guys holding hands, both in t-shirts. It was a snap shot. No posing. No thought about lighting. But it spoke to the judge(s).

...you never know.

So can you help me decide which picture to use in this contest?

The pictures can't be "old". No "oldies but goodies". 

Below (and one picture above) is what I have it narrowed down to.

Just leave a comment to vote, please. Click on the "comment" link. It likely shows how many comments have been made. It is way down at the bottom left.

Image 2

Image 3

Image 4

Image 5

Image 6