The first thing I have to tell you is that sleeping as you get older is a tricky thing. I can now go to sleep most afternoons, no problem. Going to sleep at 10:30 or 11:00 is an “iffy” thing. I may have been tired all day but at 10 to 11 PM I am not ready to sleep.
And nowadays there is no way to sleep until 6AM.
I always wondered why old people got up at 4 or 5 AM. Well the old person who uses my toothbrush gets up then because the pain wakes him up and so he just gets up. Maybe that is why other old people get up early. I dunno.
The second thing I have to tell you is that what follows didn’t and doesn’t happen at my house. This is important that you know this. That is because people call my wife and say to her, “Do you know what he wrote today?” Or, “Do you know what he’s done now?” Or something similar.
Many of you insightful people know that, by now, not much surprises her. You can tell her and she will just nod and smile.
So it is important that you knowing that this isn’t something that has happened at my house. I hope that your knowing this may reduce the number of calls to my wife telling her of the odd thing I’ve done or written.
Maybe you might think I heard this from the neighbors, or just made it up out of my own warped mind. Yeah, go with one of those.
As I understand it some couples snore. Both of them. And when one snores the other cannot go to sleep. So when they go to bed there is a sort of race to see which one can go to sleep first and get their “steam engine going down the tracks” sound going before the other person has the chance to do so.
So the first person to go to sleep “wins”. The other person is left to listen and try to pull the pillows over his or her head and block the noise of train engine next to them. This can be miserable because you want to sleep, but you don’t want to be rude to the person who was able to get to sleep before you.
It is what might be called, a “Mexican Standoff”. This is where two sides square off against one another and neither can make a move without knowing they both will be destroyed. Okay, I guess that isn’t what this is because no one is going to be destroyed.
Once one party is asleep the other party doesn’t want to wake them because they know how hard it is go get to sleep and stay asleep.
However, I’m told, one person may shake the other person and say “you are snoring”. In some cases the person doing the snoring can put on their CPAP machine mask and that might help. Or the message may be, without saying so directly, “go to the other room” and sleep with the dog. Or maybe they just come out with it… “go sleep in the other room”.
This is why fertility rates in the Western World has plummeted. Because of this the current Administration needs to address this issue. There needs to be studies. Doctors and researchers need to find solutions.
It is one thing when old people have this problem but when it happens to younger folks… and it does… the the fate of future generations hangs in the balance.
Congress needs to be called into special session, and required to do some actual work.
The President needs to sign an executive order.
The Supreme Court needs to rule.
We need action and we need it now!
But they would all have to fight the pro-snoring lobby which I hear is big in DC.
Please write your Senator and or Congressman on this important issue.




















