i'm hiring

 

I am applying for the subcontract to place orange barrels on the highways.

Some of you may recall when construction zones were marked with actual barrels. Actual metal shipping barrels. They would cut up old tires and put them on the bottom of the barrel to keep them from rolling away.

Those were all replaced with orange plastic barrels.

I found out that the State Highway Department does not put those barrels out. They hire it done by subcontractors who have advanced degrees in barrel placement, or have cousins or other relatives that need something to do. The State estimates when work is to be done with a “lea way” of plus or minus 60 days and then has the barrel subcontractor place the orange barrels in an approximate time frame somewhere loosely around then.

The State did this themselves at one time but they were running short on manpower and there were not enough people to lean on shovels and watch that one new guy in the ditch, so that had to turn to outside help.

This is why you may drive for an hour past miles and miles of orange and / or yellow barrels with no workers in sight. The subcontracting company placed the barrels as per contractual obligations. The fact that work may or may not start in that vicinity in the foreseeable future is… well… unforeseeable and not at all the fault of anyone but you… for noticing.

I am certain that I can place those barrels as well as anyone else. Maybe better. So I called my Uncle Rudy and asked him to put in a good word for me down at the Highway Department. He said he would and so now I’m waiting.

In the meantime I’m asking for people to let me come to their driveway and place barrels for practice. You will need to have a longish driveway and be willing to use only half of it for some period of time. I may let you wear a yellow vest and have a flag that you can wave. You would be empowered to stop traffic going ingressing and egressing and ungressing and doing all sorts of gressing in your or near your driveway.

At your discretion you may allow your wife into your driveway. It's up to you.

If you prove to "have what it takes"... if you can "cut the mustard" then I may be able to hire you. To put you on the team. 

Please let me know if you would like to start off by using your driveway.

And I'm looking for a snappy name for my orange barrel placement company so please leave me your best ideas.

Thanks in advance.