I once worked near a place that sold furniture. Normally I don’t think much about furniture. But this store had a bed that was interesting to me.
It was sorta “fluffy”. It had fabric all over it. There was no place that didn’t have fabric. And the fabric was “shaggy”. Cotton candy like shaggy. Strands of fiber that were inches long.
The bed was round. I don’t know why round. But it was round.
It was a shaggy, round bed.
It had a clam shell portion that came up from the head of the bed and was above you as you lay on the mattress. It was also shaggy.
It was a shaggy, round, clam shell bed.
In the top of this shell was a TV.
It was a shaggy, round, clam shell, TV bed.
This was a long time ago so the TV was not a flat screen. These were the days when the TV’s had a big tube and the picture was projected on the front of that tube. The point being that these TV’s were somewhat heavy. Thus this clam shell feature had to be built to support the TV and was thus not insignificant. "Not insignificant" meaning it was big. Not like the picture above. of the dude in a bed.
Let’s be honest with one another the darn thing was ugly. Really ugly. I didn’t care. I wanted it. You could lay (or is it lie) in bed and watch TV. You didn’t have to put a pillow under your head to prop it up to see the TV across the room.
The TV was only a few feet from your eyes. You could see everything.
It was a shaggy, round, clam shell, easy on your eyes, TV bed.
I would go into the furniture store and lay (or is it lie) on the bed and dream of it being mine. The people at the furniture store were accommodating at first, but they refused to plug in the TV. They seemed to think I was off-putting to other customers. This was absurd. I was a great sales tool because of the example I was for others to see what a great bed this was. Others could behold my love for this bed.
Had they plugged in the TV we could have sold oodles.
It was a shaggy, round, clam shell, easy on your eyes, TV bed… that I loved.
This inability to possess this marvelous piece of ugly furniture created a personal existential crisis for me. I began to wonder, what is life all about. Really if you can’t lay down in your own shaggy, ugly bed and watch TV what is the purpose of life? Why continue?
Others stood in my way and refused to let me posses this thing that I loved!
Somehow I struggled through those dark days and did so “cold turkey” without my very own shaggy, round, clam shell, easy on your eyes, TV bed… that I loved.
It was a shaggy, round, clam shell, easy on your eyes, TV bed that causes personal existential crises.
In the end I overcame and I’m sure that I am a better person for it.
I hope that I can be a beacon of hope to others who may want but cannot possess a bed with which they are enamored.
Maybe I can go from town to town and hold seminars at the Holiday Inn about how to overcome existential crises. Maybe I could write a book. Maybe the book would become a movie.
Maybe we could bring back the shaggy, round, TV bed?
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