Pam has new buttons that came with a truck

 

Pam has a new car. When I say new car I mean a new car to us, but it is a used car. It's like a new, used car.

And it is a truck.

We can drive it. Which is good. Other than that we are confused. And the car is confused. Plus we are a little afraid to push the buttons on the dash.

It has lots of buttons and switches. Lots. There is room to put you hands on the steering wheel and then on the "spokes" that go out to the steering wheel there are lots of buttons. There is no where left to put another button. They had to quit adding features when they ran out of button room.

This new truck is the same make and model as Pam's old truck. In her old truck there are some paddle-like switches on the steering wheel. Some meaning two. One is to change stations on the radio and the other is to change volume on the radio. These were really nice because Pam would turn down the volume and I would turn it back up without moving my hands. She never knew. (Don't tell her, please.)

On the trip home in the new truck I used these switches. I thought they did the same thing, but they didn't have any effect on the radio. It took me a while to realize they are paddle switches for the transmission. You can sift gears on the steering wheel! As of this writing I don't know how to change the volume on the radio without moving my hands so it appears in that respect all this technology is a "net loss".

Where her "cruise control" is in the old truck there are controls that look sorta, kinda the same but when you push them they do not engage "cruise control". I don't know what they do. Maybe they are passenger seat ejectors. I hope so. But since there was no one in the seat when I was driving there was no one to eject. Maybe if you come over we can go for a ride and while I'm driving we can try it out.

After messing with these buttons I found the real cruise control directly above them.

So there is that.

The truck also has "lane assist". If you have never had "lane assist" - and I've never had it - it shakes the steering wheel a little. I think it is supposed to do this when you are out of your lane. 

Here in Northern Indiana they work on the roads every so often. I would say they do it based upon the phases of the moon, but without knowing what that means I'm thinking it is less often than that. Nobody knows when they may work on the roads next. They are really good at setting up orange barrels and cones to give the illusion that they may someday work on a road, but it is a passing fancy. As a result our roads are bumpy. They have patches on patches on patches on patches. The painted markings of lanes is a distant memory: faded or gone.

This new truck has no idea what to do regarding "lane assist". We suspect the roads have it confused. So we have decided to turn off "lane assist", but we don't know how to do that. There is a button you push that looks like it ought to be the right button. When you push that on the screen it shows a car with lanes marked. Depending on how many times you push that button you will get different lane markings, and sometimes the car on the display magically disappears, which is disconcerting.

... but the steering wheel still shakes when you go over a patch in the road, no matter how many times you have pushed that button.

Some of the buttons have Egyptian hieroglyphics on them. We will have to get out the owner's manual to figure out what they all mean, or find a spare Egyptian hanging out somewhere.

Otherwise we are not pushing buttons. Who knows what might happen.

I've been looking for a button that says TOMO which stands for "thermal oxidizer manifold over-ride". So far no luck. I'm pretty sure you don't want the thermal oxidizer manifold to over heat.

The truck has three back up cameras. This we know how to use because the guy who sold us the car told us. It has three settings. So maybe it is just one camera with three settings and not multiple cameras. Anywho, you can see what's behind you, whats right under your bumper and what is under your seat. Which is good because there may be a random escaped Frito under there that might be tasty.

Maybe if you have recently purchased a new vehicle that is "loaded" you can come over and show us how our car - I mean truck - works.

Thanks in advance for your help.